Shaking.
Trembling.
Only the defeatist cry and thoughts and thoughts racing is all I could feel.
But with a grin, I dealt with the day.
Worsen.
I fought with you.
Worsen.
I needed to see you again.
But family comes first.
Worsen. Worsen. Worsen. Please, help me.
Tell me.
Hey Tell Me friend.
"Please tell me everything will be okay."
Please.
Please.
God, Please let her be here.
But I knew.
You weren't going to be there.
Thoughts racing again.
In an alternate universe where this never happened.
Where I was fine.
I was okay.
In an alternate universe where this still happened.
I was there.
Red eyes.
Drip drop my face despairing.
And crying.
And sniffling.
But you were there.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"I need a hug."
And we hug.
In an alternate universe where this still happened.
We hug.
"What happened?"
And then I leave
In an alternate universe.
Unresolved.
Because at the time
"You're not an outlier."
"I'm just a parasite."
And I still exist.
But you weren't there.
That day, I arrived.
Empty.
Empty.
It hurts.
Too sad.
Crying.
Biking unresolved.
Worsen.
Worsen.
Worsen.
Worsen.
Worsen.
I was tired and said to myself
"Just get through this, because you'll get over it."
And I did.
But.
I don't listen to me.
I don't want to.
Not even as a last resort.
.....
Yesterday
Through that day
Where the distractions and despair
Were gone
At least then
I had fun
I want to do this again
Please let's do this again
And we hugged
And then I remembered from back then
My knowing selfishness
And I didn't feel anything
Honest.
Parasites don't want what others want.
We're selfish.
I'm bringing everyone down.
I don't care.
I'm bringing them down.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Can't stop.
Please.
"Someone" tell me
Everything
Everything will be okay for me.
I don't want to have these thoughts and feelings of mine
I don't want to be pathetic
I need a "someone"
Tell me please.
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