I'm bad at ending it at "Goodbye"

I don't know, it's just lame how getting the word out no matter how right or wrong it feels to say it.
"Goodbye" is just postponing meeting you again another time.
Except when I say it, "Goodbye" is cutting off the relationship.
Doesn't matter who you are.
I want to get away, away from you and everyone I associate with.
There was no hope for me anyway in the west coast.
So I have to start over elsewhere.
Or else I won't be able to look past the idea of 1/5th of my life
Invested like that.
Not necessarily wasted, don't get me wrong.
I loved meeting you.
I liked the interactions I've had with you.
I had fun spending time with you and everyone else.
And I'm sick of it.
Because I can't relate to you.
Or him.
Or her.
Or them.
Anything.
"Just get away from me, pretend you don't know me."
Is what I scream with suppressed tears.
Without a "voice" that isn't the
Stoic person that I am
Because I'm not.
It's an act.
A facade.
I trust you enough to know that I'm doing this because
It's too late, so I accept this delusion I've created that
failed to fool you.
That deceived me.
Despairing of the hypocrisy that I've created for myself of
Forgetting the past and bringing it with me.
Because I gave up on myself.
And lost that confidence back then.
So closing this chapter of my life that was essentially
Just passing by with you
And them
I was so close to
"Cherishing" this year
So close.
Leaving it at a goodbye is appropriate, don't you think?
"I'll see you later."
I silently said
Goodbye.